嘩!!!! 原來成個月冇寫過個blog lu......
唔係唔想寫，而係根本無空間去寫.....
近排比較忙，工作一羅羅，點會有時間去寫o野?!
雖然都仲有好多o野未做，但我決定要擠一個空間出o黎，
讓自己有個思考空間，想想自己的方向，想想自己想點。
我一直好希望可以從事有關就業輔導的服務，現在願望可謂達成了，
但做著做著，卻發覺和自己原來所想，所期望的不同。
於這個夾縫間生存，讓我覺得有時有點透不過氣。
老實講，我有想過頹做，甚至有想過放棄,
但又覺得可惜，那麼難得才有這個實踐理想的機會，那麼辛苦才剛剛上手，有怎捨得放棄??
而因自己經驗尚淺，未能有效的幫助到我的學員，已覺得虧欠了他們，
又怎可頹做，妄顧他們的福祉?!
因此近日心中有很多爭扎...... 很多疑問......
我應該如何定位???? 我應該如何將自己的理想，期望與現實磨合????
我應該怎樣做才能彌補自己的不足?????
"Look at me, you may think you see who I really am
But you'll never know me
Every day, is as if I play apart
Now I see, if I wear a mask I can fool the world
But I cannot fool my heart
Who is that girl I see, staring straight back at me?
When will my reflection show, who I am inside?
I am now in a world where I have to hide my heart and what I believe in
But somehowI will show the world what's inside my heart
And be loved for who I am
Who is that girl I see staring straight back at me?
Why is my reflection someone I don't know?
Must I pretend that I'm someone else for all time?
When will my reflection show who I am inside?
There's a heart that must be free to fly
That burns with a need to know the reason why
Why must we all conceal what we think, how we feel?
Must there be a secret me I'm forced to hide?
I won't pretend that I'm someone else for all time
When will my reflections show who I am inside?
When will my reflections show who I am inside? "
Reflection (from Mulan) ~~ by Christina Aguilera
Everyone in this world is wearing a mask and frankly speaking I do ....
What you see may not be the real me as like others I do have secrets that I would like to hide ...
Well ..... somehow I do not like to conseal everything but it is hard to reveal all out ....
I do want to find someone that I could be able to reveal the true me to him / her ...
and I'm still seaching for such a guy ......
And in the course of finding such a person .... I somehow found that the thing that matters is ...
What I really am ??? What is the real me ???
I'm not sure who am I ..... I somehow do not have a deep understanding about myself .....
Even if I came across a person that I could be able to share my real me ....
What am I going to reveal if I myself do not know myself ???????
What am I going to do in order to know more about myself ????
Is there anything in the world could able to reflect the real me ??????
I want to know ............. I want to find myself .........
上回講到近日我變得十分情緒化，連我自己都覺得好恐怖 !!
一時好開心，大癲大肺，轉個頭就悶悶不樂，唔知想點。
這個情況暫還沒有太大的改善........
不過，今日心情的確好多了～～～～
隨了因為尋日o訓足成日之外，仲因為我身邊有一班好好好好的同事兼朋友!!!!
包括傻傻地的Irene, 好得意的小紅，好nice的藍藍，好關心我的大同Ivy，好型的Suki
仲有唔少得的一群.......猛男....... 死傻佬阿深，風趣幽默的Keith，深不可測的阿強 ~~
佢ｏ地個個都好關心我，好錫我，好愛我!!!!!!!
ｏ向我最失落，最沮喪的時候，他們就ｏ向我身邊支持我，鼓勵我，想盡辦法逗我開心!!!
人生得這麼多知己，實在乎復何求!!!!! 死而無憾!!!!!!
真係好想籍著這blog向他們講:
"真的很多謝您們!!!!
有了你們，我的生活又怎會沉悶?????
我的人生又怎會白過????? 又怎會有黑暗?????
好開心可以認識到您們~~~~ 好開心您們肯做我的朋友~~~~
要您們擔心，實不好意思，
我沒事的，有您們在我的身邊，我哪會有甚麼事呢????"
想著，想著，真的感覺到神的恩典!!!!!!!
是神帶我來到這裏，讓我認識到一班好朋友的~~~~~
真感謝神~~~
Getting emotional these days ......
Originally very happy but in a minute I feel very depressed ....
Just like suffering from mania .....
Thinking of the reason to this for 2 days ... not really have a clue ....
Maybe bec of biological reason or maybe bec of work stress or maybe both ....
I really hate myself getting emotional as this would greatly affect my working incentive and efficiency .... I cannot concentrate when working and cannot think rationally .... this would affect my co-workers and my clients too ..... GOD .......
What can I do ????? Can someone help ?????
Maybe I really need a rest ........
It is a question that many employees would ask especially those who think that they did not perform well in their interview. I do have this question in my mind that I'm not dare to ask like many others. Somehow I got the ans from my collegue as our supervisor told her during supervision, which is a real interesting and unexpectable ~~~
According to my supervisor,
"After Stella and I interviewed Ka Kei (my Chin name) we both like her very much. She is very funny. We wanted to hire her, so both of us think of reasons in promoting her to the second interview as Ka Kei do not have experience in youth service. "
FUNNY is the reason why I was hired .......
Well ~~~ am I really that funny ????? hahahahaha ~~~
of course there is other reason why I think ~~ but this is the main point I would like to share~~
Anyway I need to sent my greatest regards to my supervisor for getting me out from the unemployment net ~~~~
"點解會請我?" 可能會係好多人好想但唔會問的問題，尤其是覺得自己o向 interview中表現不理想的人。我自己亦如此。但這個迷題終於解開了。前幾日我個 supervisor一個同事做 supervision 時透露了。Supervisor 話：我同Stella見完嘉琪就好想請佢，佢好得意!!! 但因為佢無青年工作的經驗，所以我o地要諗一 D 理由令佢可以去到 second in。
"得意" 就係我被請的理由 ~~~ hahahaha ~~~ 我真係咁得意????? hahahaha !!! 我知道應該仲有其他的理由，不過這是個重點我想講的!!! 這實在太出乎意料之外了!!! 真係諗都無諗過!!!! 當然我相信人格都是請人時一個很重要的考慮因素啦!! 但係我真係覺得這個理由好得意 ~~ 好特別 ~~~ hahahaha ~~~
點都好都要鄭重的多謝我 supervisor 的賞識，多謝她從失業網中救我出來!!! 實感激非常!!!!
Just had a nap ..... These days I'm too tired ...... Physically and mentally ........
Feeling the pressure surrounding me and seeing my own limitations .... I feel a bit depressed .....
Just finished a proposal this morning .......
Frankly speaking, this is the easiest proposal I've ever had in my life as I can copy and paste from the previous ones and some parts would be written by other co-workers. However, the hardest part of it would be for me to think and match the time schedule of different classes my center is proposed to open ......... 7 classes ..... organize in 2 months ......... how to avoid clashes in time and venue ........ not possible ....... (headache..........) so what I did is try my best to make less clashes as I can .... The other thing which troubles me is that I need to find out the past records of agency's accomplishments ................................. God ........................ Luckily there are so many nice collegues that I could seek help from !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! If not I'm dead already !!!! Well I think I still have some amendments to make but this will have to wait till next week after my big boss read that ........
星期日要返工，怎樣說也有點不情願.........
真的很想躲在床上，大被蓋頭，o訓死過去!! 甚麼也不理 !!!
雖有這樣妄想過，但現實歸現實，始終逃離不了其魔掌.......
坐在火車上，聽著周杰倫的<<借口>>，
就是給自己一個借口去逃避不去想像將會發生的可怕事情.... (小霸王大鬧中心)
與猴子及Ivy吃完了午飯，需不太飽，但心情頓時好了點~~
同學聚會，見面，吹水真是醫治情緒低落的一服靈丹妙藥~~~~
預備我的身心靈去接受工作上的挑戰 ~~~
我覺得神真的待我不薄 ~~ 繼大同聚之後，又有另一驚喜 ~~
小霸王今天竟沒有在中心出現 ~~~~ haha ~~~~
令工作的重擔頓時輕了不少 ~~~
然後又來了有趣的事，令我今天過得很充實。
今天不知怎的與中心的小朋友寫起信來 ~~ (其實他們與我只不過一檯之隔 !!!)
很久沒有收到信的我今天竟收了十多封來信，亦回了十多封 ~~
我會好好好好的收藏的!!!!
雖然信很短，只得兩三句，那麼的天真，那麼的可笑，
但令我深深的感受到小朋友的那份情~~ 他們真的視我為他們的朋友 ~~
亦勾起了我中小學時代傳紙仔的回憶 ~~
書信是另一種的溝通方法，有時比起用語言還要好，
可以收藏，不致很快忘記與流失，能留著美好的回憶，
待日後慢慢回味細嚐 ~~~
亦可以把難於啟齒的說話和秘密更容易的傳遞出去 ~~~
收到信的感覺真的好到難以形容 ~~
放工後雖有點疲倦，但心情卻是十分的愉快 ~~~
與同事們一起吃buffet，歡送快要離開的同事...
真捨不得朱女與Vicki ~~ 雖然我們認識的日子很短~~
一面有講有笑，肚子滿足之餘，心裏亦今滿足非常~~
晚飯後與阿深一同前往碼頭乘巴士回家的途中，又遇到了另一件特別的事。
於海旁那裏有位伯伯在演奏，
(有甚麼特別???? 平日街上也有人演奏的。)
特別在那位伯伯所用的樂器 ~~~ 那是一把鋸 !!!!!!!
我平生從來也沒有想過鋸是可以用來做樂器的~~~~
它的聲音是如此清脆動人~~~~ 真的很佩服那為伯伯~~~他實在太利害了!!!!
阿深後來還扮那把鋸的聲音, 雖不像(好似扯蝦般 ~~)，但十分十分搞笑!!!
就這樣，我就過了很快樂，開心的一天~~~
我笑了一整天呢~~~~ 完全忘卻了工作的壓力~~~~
真的希望天天也如此 !!!!!
搵工係一個十分十分痛苦的過程........
每個人都必會經歷，差在長定短。
我覺得短其實又唔係一件實在好好的事,
因為經歷得越多人會越成熟，更能接受挑戰。
其實成功的關鍵我覺得係一份堅持，搵工就係靠你的韌力。
沒了這份堅持人好容易會陷入心理的谷底，無心機爬番上o黎 lu.
正所謂死唔斷氣咁，仲有一口氣都要撐落去。
邊個長氣，邊個咪嬴囉 ~~~ haha ~~~
死唔去 ~~~ 點整我都死唔去嫁喇 ~~ haha ~~~
你奈我o羊何~~~~ hor hor hor ~~~(這已變成我做人的宗旨lu ~~~ hahaha)
死唔斷氣一定係好辛苦嫁喇......
但係我唔甘心就咁就了結自己囉 ~~
這樣對世人太唔公平喇 ~~~ haha ~~~~~> （我面皮已經練到成幾丈厚喇 !!!!! 勁!!! )
搵到工只不過係另一個更大的困難的開始 ~~~
大家要努力呀，加油呀~~~~
千祈唔好咁快斷氣 !!!!!!!!!!!
(我o向 newsgroup 度post 的，copy 在此留為紀念 !! )
點解突然間打中文 ?????
haha ~~~ 因為詢眾要求囉 ~~~
作為一個社工當然要以人為本啦!!!! 基本理念來的嘛!!!
我一開始寫這個 blog 其實無諗著打中文的 !!
唔係想 show off， 懶勁，
原因除o左我打中文好鬼死慢 (請多包涵 !!! hehehe ~~)
仲有我除o左send 呢條 link 俾香港朋友之外我仲send 俾D 外國朋友 ~~~
(無計我實在交遊廣闊 !! hahahahahahaha ~~~~~)
因此，我選了打英文 ~~~ hehehehe ~~~
我見好似無乜人睇我個blog，所以當係俾我自己睇，懶得就懶啦嘛!!!!
(I'm too lazy to type Chinese .... haha )
但近排發覺原來我個blog都有人睇的!!! hehe ~~~ 好開心 !!!!
所以初次提昇嘗試多打中文並多點 update 個blog ~~~ haha ~~~
當然希望睇我個blog O既朋友們都可以留個言俾我啦!!!
等我知道你地都有O黎嘛 !!! 我會有多點動力去寫的~~~ haha~~~
yeah ~~~~ 請多多支持 !!!!
Why suddenly type Chinese too in my blog ??? As it is because many friends of mine wanted me to ~~~ Being person-centered is one of the basic principle of being a professional social worker like me ~~ hahahaha ~~~~ Actually I did not thought of typing Chinese in my blog at the very begining as I'm not good at Chinese typing, too slow man !!! haha ~~~ And besides I also send this link to my friends overseas ~~ that's you guys man ~~~ haha ~~~~ wooo ~~ thanks for reading ~~ so from now on I'll try type both Chinese and English here so to be user friendly ~~ haha ~~~ of couse the content will not be exactly the same as I'm not a professional translater ... but of course will be very much similar as this is my blog (and being fair, sometimes there are things typed in English but not in Chinese and vice versa )~~ haha ~~~ everything about me recently will be posted here ~~ to keep you guys posted ~~ hehe ~~~ Don't Worry ~~~ haha ~~~Hope you guys will post comments to me as you read ~~ as for me to know you are reading, increasing my motivation in writing and updating this blog more often ~~ yeah ~~~~ thanks for supporting ~~~ !!!! Love you guys so much ~~~ haha ~~~ :P
Depress ........ very depress ................
Never thought of somthing like this would happen to me .........
WARNING LETTER ......... I'm going to receive the first warning letter in my life ......
The worst thing is that it will be sent to my big big boss ......... My God ........
This is only the 24th day of my career life ........ poor me .........
The story is ...... There's a client whom was originally the student of another agency of the yputh pre-employment program organized jointly with the Labour Department. One day, he came to me and said he want to come to my agency for lesson as a friend of his is a student in my agency. As being client centered, he has a right to choose the institute he likes, and as my agency do have vaciency, I accepted him as a student here in my agency.
The thing is I do not know and aware that I need to report this change to the Labour Department ....... I pick this program up not very long ago and I really do not know that ........ therefore ......... the Labour Department issused me a warning letter .......... although I've explained the situation........
Well ...... well ..... I learnt a lesson from this incident ......
HAVE TO BE VERY VERY ALERT AND CAREFUL ABOUT THE ADMINSTRATIVE PROCEDURES ESPECIALLY THOSE REQUIRED BY THE GOVERNMENT !!!!!
Eating dinner at office now ...
ya .... your eyes do not have any problem .... I'm in office ~~
Finally got a job and leave the unemployment net.
So today's B-day wish would not be "Hoping to find a job real soon" haha ~~
Can leave that quota to another one.
Well.... working as a social worker in the field of employment is not as easy as I think. There's much that I did not know about especially those adminstrative procedures required ..... (those required by the Labour Department ...... ) And even though I've some experience in employment counseling, the projects I need to take over are new to me which I actually had no idea what they are about ... haha ~~ Have to study the menu and proposal hard man.
Dynamics arise within these 10 days of work too .... making me so confused.....
I really want to do something for my clients, accompaning them in going through their job search process step by step, however time is so limited which makes it hard for me to do so ..... What should I do ?????
No matter what, I still love my job ~~ haha ~~~ I'll try my very best in over coming all challenges ~~~ haha ~~~
" Be able to find my own position and role and be able to pick up the tasks given as soon as possible"
would be my B-day wish this year ~~~
Wooooo ~~~ an email with 1G storage size !!!!
That's my Gmail !!!
Never thought of having this Gmail b4 ~~~ Thanks must be given to my dear sis that she gave me an invitation !!! hahaa !!!!
From now on can receive as much mail as I can without delecting any !!!
Come on guys ~~ go flood it !!!!!
Sis sent me a web site in making cartoons for Msn~~~~
Great fun !!! hahaha ~~~~ Really love this kind of work ~~
Apart from myself, I also made some cartoons for m classmates !!!!
They are quite satisify with my work !!
Want to see more cartoons ???? Wondering who did I make ????
Go check this up !!!!!!!
http://community.webshots.com/album/179009734khuuAN/0
my cartoon !! looks like me ?? 
The interview I had today is the strangest one I've ever encountered .........
Pls have a seat. Do you have a photo with you?
Can you pls introduce yourself ?
Our post would mainly responsible for .......(introducing the duties and their programs)
Do you feel confident in teaching?
Do you have any question to ask?
That's it ...... The interview only took 5 mins ....... and half of that was the explaination of the duties of the post ....... Isn't it too short ?????
Isn't that the purpose of an interview is to find out a suitable candidate for the post? With these questions the interviewer could really be able to grasp a better knowledge of each interviewee and pick up the suitable one?
Or is my problem for not presenting myself as fully as I could in the interview??????
Or they will ask more and get more information in the second interview ??
If I'm able to get into the second inerview, I may be able to know the truth behind.
Haven't been here for a long long time already ~~ haha ~~
Not really in mood to write anything in the past month ...... so ....
Um.... I almost gave this up already ... but thinking that it is a pity to do so, I finally decided to pick this up again ~~ to make good use of this place in expressing the real me ~~ haha ~~
The first thing I thought of in writing is what happened yesterday (actually the day before yesterday as already past 12:00a.m.)
I went back to CU, this time as an old girl, in meeting this year's freshmen an most importantly is to find out Who will be my little brother / sister (學弟/妹) ????? I was very excited to know that I got a little sis ~~ haha ~~ Her name is Circle , who is a nice and lovely girl. However I could not really being able to spent much time with her that night .... What a pity ~~ Hope can keep close contact with her in the future.
I really enjoy going back to CU to visit and help out as this give me a chance to know more about my juniors and to share my exprience ~~ I love to share ~~~ coz I love to talk ~~~ haha ~~~ Actually the truth is, I would like to follow the footsteps of my seniors. Because of their help and sharing, I learn much. Because of them I had a really happy U life. So I hope that I would also be helpful to my juniors and hopefully a Gd model ~~~ hahahahahaha ~~~~
Last but not least ~~
I would also be able to get support from them and my beloved classmates too ~~ hahaha ~~~ mutual support ~~ This is the beautiful thing one could get in a sharing group ~~~
I LOVE CUSWK !!!!!!!!!!
Hahaha ~~~~
Waited for such a long time ~~~
I finally got an interview la ~~~~ My first one !!!! youth employment
So excited ~~~~
Have to try my very best !!!!!
I'm sure I would be able to get great experience !!!!
Got a new hair cut today ~~~
However, not much people recognized as actually not seems to have cut many....
I should have cut it shorter ~~~ I like short ~~~ suits my charater !!
But as my mom prefers me to have long hair I keep that shoulder length
(a bit longer than that actually)
Actually not really very mind ~~~
As my main aim is to cut those hair blocking my eyes !!
Too disturbing !!!!!! :(
hahaha ~~~ Happy that I could finally get rid of them !!!!
YEAH !!!!!!
As being a social work trained person, I was taught to listen actively, be empathic .... These are the basics in establishing a close and trusting relationship with clients.After 2 placement periods practice, it is not that hard for me to do so now.
However, in facing my family, I usually could not. This is especially true when dealing with problems. I usually lost my temper easily ......... Family relationship is hard to deal with ....... I always want to have a good talk with my parents but seems not very possible .......
Should have a deep reflection on this ....
Joined the 3 days leadership training camp for F.4-7, being a group learder, I would be able to get some $$$. hahha ~~~
Frankly speaking I join the camp just bec of $500. hehe !!! (but dun know when I can get that back ...)
EXTREMELY HOT .......
Very TIRED ..........
Wanna DIE ........... -_________________-||||||||||||||
However, it is still fun talking to teenagers nowadays who will be a leader in the near future !!!! At least I found that I'm not too old having the problem of generation gap !! hehehe ~~~
One of them would like to be a leader of the leaders ~~ wow ~~
But that leads me to think of some questions:
How could you guarentee that you can always be the top among all leaders ????
How could one possible to be a leader always ??
Guy Sebastain !!! The winner of Australian Idol !!!
A Guy really having a very great voice !!!!!
Well ~~~ actually I prefer keeping fat, man ~~ hahaha ~~~~
Just kidding ~~ hehhe ~~ what I concern would be healthiness of body.
To me ppl nowadays are too thin ..... only skeleton left !!!! However they still complaining that they are fat !!! How come !!!! If they are fat, what about me ?? I wonder what ppl nowadays are thinking ..... how they regard as slim ???? I wonder later on I would be talking to skeletions walking arround. Hahaha ~~~
Keeping oneself healthy (doing exercise everyday, having a balance diet) is most important. No matter one is fat or not ~~ hehe ~~ I'm fat but I'm very sure I'm more healthier than many ppl as I seldom need to see doctors !! hehe ~~
Anyway, to lead a more healthy life, I'm now trying to pick up a habbit of doing exercise everyday !!!! I really do ~~ can ask my sis ~~
Searching for job these days, having doubt with my ability in taking up those post I want to apply, I kept asking myself these days what did I actually learnt during the 3 yrs of U-life ?? Do I just wasted my 3 yrs time, wasted tax payers' money, wasted my teachers' and parents' effort, support and encouragment and gain nothing in return ??
Can't really tell what I learnt concretely. But I do feel that I've changed. I did got sth in these 3 yrs of Social Work training. Maybe it is my way of thinking, which is the term I could think of right now.
Last night I was chatting with my junior through icq concerning proposal writing. She is going to organize a group and would like me to comment on her proposal before she hands that in to her supervisor. Although I was not sure whether I could really give her any useful ideas, I did discuss the proposal with her right away. It is through this I realized I've changed and grow.
When I think, I used to concentrate on one aspect or using one perspective in seeing things. Sometimes I think in an ideal way which ignore the existing constrains. Now it is not the case anymore, I realized. At least I started to think more practically.
It is hard to expalin though. Well... ya .... like for example what I would concern when drafting a proposal or planning a group are :
1. clients --> their real needs, ability, background, characteristics, personality
2. Time constrains --> which will be related to the size of program, i.e. consider the amount of things that could be done in such a period of time
3. Aim of the program --> what actually you would like to achieve and design accordingly
4. Expectations --> your expectation may be different from your supervisor or your boss or the agency or even clients. it is therefore needed to make sure all these expectations and try making a balance (what I learnt from my 2nd placement)
5. Budget --> you have enough money to do what you want to ??
6. Resources --> community resources, human resources, funding etc. they are essential in making your group possible
7. Preparations --> pre-group interview needed ?? advertising ?? booking of venue ?? set ups ?? permission of some kinds ?? etc.
Well these are all that I could think of at this moment .... of course there should be more that one have to consider. All I would like to say is that in the past I may only think of the content of the group, how to make it seems more attractive ~~ haha ~~ now with the experience accumulated, I do know there's a lot more one need to consider.
Although I still think in a naive way sometimes and could not think as fast as many of my friends do, I do believe I've achieved certain kind of improvement ~~ hehe~~
Well...well.....
Long ago I've been thinking of having sth like this for posting my moliu thoughts. Just that I was so busy and actually lazy to write b4, so I gave this idea up.
Now that I've graduated from U, moliuing and doing nothing at home, I have plenty time to do so now. Well ... hoping to pick up a good habbit in recording things .. ha ~~ not relee sure I could do that ... but let's have a try ~~ hehe ~~~
I have many nicknames. Pudding is the recent one I got.
Created by my U-mates actually. One day they looked at me and said "U looks like Pruin (布丁狗)!!!!" Then they started calling me 布丁. In English, pudding, I called myself. That's it. Simple but memorable.
