Reflection

"Look at me, you may think you see who I really am
But you'll never know me
Every day, is as if I play apart
Now I see, if I wear a mask I can fool the world
But I cannot fool my heart

Who is that girl I see, staring straight back at me?
When will my reflection show, who I am inside?

I am now in a world where I have to hide my heart and what I believe in
But somehowI will show the world what's inside my heart
And be loved for who I am

Who is that girl I see staring straight back at me?
Why is my reflection someone I don't know?
Must I pretend that I'm someone else for all time?
When will my reflection show who I am inside?

There's a heart that must be free to fly
That burns with a need to know the reason why
Why must we all conceal what we think, how we feel?
Must there be a secret me I'm forced to hide?
I won't pretend that I'm someone else for all time
When will my reflections show who I am inside?
When will my reflections show who I am inside? "

Reflection (from Mulan) ~~ by Christina Aguilera

Everyone in this world is wearing a mask and frankly speaking I do ....
What you see may not be the real me as like others I do have secrets that I would like to hide ...
Well ..... somehow I do not like to conseal everything but it is hard to reveal all out ....
I do want to find someone that I could be able to reveal the true me to him / her ...
and I'm still seaching for such a guy ......

And in the course of finding such a person .... I somehow found that the thing that matters is ...
What I really am ??? What is the real me ???
I'm not sure who am I ..... I somehow do not have a deep understanding about myself .....
Even if I came across a person that I could be able to share my real me ....
What am I going to reveal if I myself do not know myself ???????

What am I going to do in order to know more about myself ????
Is there anything in the world could able to reflect the real me ??????
I want to know ............. I want to find myself .........

心情好了點

上回講到近日我變得十分情緒化，連我自己都覺得好恐怖 !!
一時好開心，大癲大肺，轉個頭就悶悶不樂，唔知想點。
這個情況暫還沒有太大的改善........

不過，今日心情的確好多了～～～～
隨了因為尋日o訓足成日之外，仲因為我身邊有一班好好好好的同事兼朋友!!!!
包括傻傻地的Irene, 好得意的小紅，好nice的藍藍，好關心我的大同Ivy，好型的Suki
仲有唔少得的一群.......猛男.......　死傻佬阿深，風趣幽默的Keith，深不可測的阿強 ~~
佢ｏ地個個都好關心我，好錫我，好愛我!!!!!!!
ｏ向我最失落，最沮喪的時候，他們就ｏ向我身邊支持我，鼓勵我，想盡辦法逗我開心!!!
人生得這麼多知己，實在乎復何求!!!!! 死而無憾!!!!!!

真係好想籍著這blog向他們講:
"真的很多謝您們!!!!
有了你們，我的生活又怎會沉悶?????
我的人生又怎會白過????? 又怎會有黑暗?????
好開心可以認識到您們~~~~ 好開心您們肯做我的朋友~~~~
要您們擔心，實不好意思，
我沒事的，有您們在我的身邊，我哪會有甚麼事呢????"

想著，想著，真的感覺到神的恩典!!!!!!!
是神帶我來到這裏，讓我認識到一班好朋友的~~~~~
真感謝神~~~

Emotional

Getting emotional these days ......
Originally very happy but in a minute I feel very depressed ....
Just like suffering from mania .....

Thinking of the reason to this for 2 days ... not really have a clue ....
Maybe bec of biological reason or maybe bec of work stress or maybe both ....

I really hate myself getting emotional as this would greatly affect my working incentive and efficiency .... I cannot concentrate when working and cannot think rationally .... this would affect my co-workers and my clients too ..... GOD .......
What can I do ????? Can someone help ?????
Maybe I really need a rest ........

Why am I hired ??

It is a question that many employees would ask especially those who think that they did not perform well in their interview. I do have this question in my mind that I'm not dare to ask like many others. Somehow I got the ans from my collegue as our supervisor told her during supervision, which is a real interesting and unexpectable ~~~

According to my supervisor,
"After Stella and I interviewed Ka Kei (my Chin name) we both like her very much. She is very funny. We wanted to hire her, so both of us think of reasons in promoting her to the second interview as Ka Kei do not have experience in youth service. "

FUNNY is the reason why I was hired .......
Well ~~~ am I really that funny ????? hahahahaha ~~~
of course there is other reason why I think ~~ but this is the main point I would like to share~~
Anyway I need to sent my greatest regards to my supervisor for getting me out from the unemployment net ~~~~

"點解會請我?" 可能會係好多人好想但唔會問的問題，尤其是覺得自己o向 interview中表現不理想的人。我自己亦如此。但這個迷題終於解開了。前幾日我個 supervisor一個同事做 supervision 時透露了。

Supervisor 話：我同Stella見完嘉琪就好想請佢，佢好得意!!! 但因為佢無青年工作的經驗，所以我o地要諗一 D 理由令佢可以去到 second in。

"得意" 就係我被請的理由 ~~~ hahahaha ~~~ 我真係咁得意????? hahahaha !!! 我知道應該仲有其他的理由，不過這是個重點我想講的!!! 這實在太出乎意料之外了!!! 真係諗都無諗過!!!! 當然我相信人格都是請人時一個很重要的考慮因素啦!! 但係我真係覺得這個理由好得意 ~~ 好特別 ~~~ hahahaha ~~~

點都好都要鄭重的多謝我 supervisor 的賞識，多謝她從失業網中救我出來!!! 實感激非常!!!!

Tired .....

Just had a nap ..... These days I'm too tired ...... Physically and mentally ........
Feeling the pressure surrounding me and seeing my own limitations .... I feel a bit depressed .....

Just finished a proposal this morning .......

Frankly speaking, this is the easiest proposal I've ever had in my life as I can copy and paste from the previous ones and some parts would be written by other co-workers. However, the hardest part of it would be for me to think and match the time schedule of different classes my center is proposed to open ......... 7 classes ..... organize in 2 months ......... how to avoid clashes in time and venue ........ not possible ....... (headache..........) so what I did is try my best to make less clashes as I can .... The other thing which troubles me is that I need to find out the past records of agency's accomplishments ................................. God ........................ Luckily there are so many nice collegues that I could seek help from !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! If not I'm dead already !!!! Well I think I still have some amendments to make but this will have to wait till next week after my big boss read that ........

特別開心的一天

星期日要返工，怎樣說也有點不情願.........
真的很想躲在床上，大被蓋頭，o訓死過去!! 甚麼也不理 !!!
雖有這樣妄想過，但現實歸現實，始終逃離不了其魔掌.......

坐在火車上，聽著周杰倫的<<借口>>，
就是給自己一個借口去逃避不去想像將會發生的可怕事情.... (小霸王大鬧中心)

與猴子及Ivy吃完了午飯，需不太飽，但心情頓時好了點~~
同學聚會，見面，吹水真是醫治情緒低落的一服靈丹妙藥~~~~
預備我的身心靈去接受工作上的挑戰 ~~~

我覺得神真的待我不薄 ~~ 繼大同聚之後，又有另一驚喜 ~~
小霸王今天竟沒有在中心出現 ~~~~ haha ~~~~
令工作的重擔頓時輕了不少 ~~~
然後又來了有趣的事，令我今天過得很充實。
今天不知怎的與中心的小朋友寫起信來 ~~ (其實他們與我只不過一檯之隔 !!!)
很久沒有收到信的我今天竟收了十多封來信，亦回了十多封 ~~
我會好好好好的收藏的!!!!
雖然信很短，只得兩三句，那麼的天真，那麼的可笑，
但令我深深的感受到小朋友的那份情~~ 他們真的視我為他們的朋友 ~~
亦勾起了我中小學時代傳紙仔的回憶 ~~

書信是另一種的溝通方法，有時比起用語言還要好，
可以收藏，不致很快忘記與流失，能留著美好的回憶，
待日後慢慢回味細嚐 ~~~
亦可以把難於啟齒的說話和秘密更容易的傳遞出去 ~~~
收到信的感覺真的好到難以形容 ~~

放工後雖有點疲倦，但心情卻是十分的愉快 ~~~
與同事們一起吃buffet，歡送快要離開的同事...
真捨不得朱女與Vicki ~~ 雖然我們認識的日子很短~~
一面有講有笑，肚子滿足之餘，心裏亦今滿足非常~~

晚飯後與阿深一同前往碼頭乘巴士回家的途中，又遇到了另一件特別的事。
於海旁那裏有位伯伯在演奏，
(有甚麼特別???? 平日街上也有人演奏的。)
特別在那位伯伯所用的樂器 ~~~ 那是一把鋸 !!!!!!!
我平生從來也沒有想過鋸是可以用來做樂器的~~~~
它的聲音是如此清脆動人~~~~ 真的很佩服那為伯伯~~~他實在太利害了!!!!
阿深後來還扮那把鋸的聲音, 雖不像(好似扯蝦般 ~~)，但十分十分搞笑!!!

就這樣，我就過了很快樂，開心的一天~~~
我笑了一整天呢~~~~ 完全忘卻了工作的壓力~~~~
真的希望天天也如此 !!!!!

搵工偉論

搵工係一個十分十分痛苦的過程........
每個人都必會經歷，差在長定短。
我覺得短其實又唔係一件實在好好的事,
因為經歷得越多人會越成熟，更能接受挑戰。

其實成功的關鍵我覺得係一份堅持，搵工就係靠你的韌力。
沒了這份堅持人好容易會陷入心理的谷底，無心機爬番上o黎 lu.

正所謂死唔斷氣咁，仲有一口氣都要撐落去。
邊個長氣，邊個咪嬴囉 ~~~ haha ~~~
死唔去 ~~~ 點整我都死唔去嫁喇 ~~ haha ~~~
你奈我o羊何~~~~ hor hor hor ~~~(這已變成我做人的宗旨lu ~~~ hahaha)
死唔斷氣一定係好辛苦嫁喇......
但係我唔甘心就咁就了結自己囉 ~~
這樣對世人太唔公平喇 ~~~ haha ~~~~~> （我面皮已經練到成幾丈厚喇 !!!!! 勁!!! )

搵到工只不過係另一個更大的困難的開始 ~~~
大家要努力呀，加油呀~~~~
千祈唔好咁快斷氣 !!!!!!!!!!!

(我o向 newsgroup 度post 的，copy 在此留為紀念 !! )